from a basement in wernersville

Wedding Toast – From July 31st, 2010

ahoff — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 02:26:21 +0000

Good Evening,
A little over eight years ago, my brother Matt stood up at my wedding reception and gave what some would consider a pretty memorable speech. It was witty, even funny at times, sentimental, and offered a bit of wisdom – everything you could ask for from a Best Man’s Toast. When Matt called to let me know that he an Erin were engaged, he challenged me, saying, “I don’t think you’ll be able to top my speech, but you can give it your best shot.” Thanks for the vote of confidence, Matt – you’re always there for me.
It truly is an honor to stand up with my brother on his wedding day, a day that some of us (Mom) thought would never arrive, to see him marry a stunning, intelligent, charming woman, and to finally have him admit that I am the Best Man. It’s just a great day all around.
I thought it would be nice to tell you a little bit about the first time that I officially met Erin. I had just arrived into State College with the volleyball team that I was coaching in 2008. It was the last weekend in May, and we were preparing to play for the State Championship. I had asked Matt to make some arrangements for us to have a team dinner – he picked Rotelli…shocking, I know – and as the team filed into the restaurant, he pulled me aside.
“I need you to do something for me.” He said. “There’s this girl that I’ve kind of been hanging out with, and she’s a little paranoid that I haven’t told anyone about her. She thinks I’m keeping her a secret.” To which I replied, “Could that be because you HAVEN’T told anyone about her, and you ARE keeping her a secret?”
“That’s not the point,” he said. “I’m going to introduce you to her later, and I need you to pretend that you’ve heard a lot about her, and that I talk about her all the time.” At this point, the dishonesty alarm in my head is going nuts, because I’m usually not one to try and pull one over on someone, especially a stranger (sic), but after all, the rule is: “When your brother is going with a story, you have to play along.”
“No problem,” I said.
Later that evening, Erin came to the church gym where we were having practice, and Matt introduced us for the first time. True to my word, I said, “Oh, Erin! It’s nice to finally meet you! Matt’s told me so much about you!” She politely smiled and said something along the lines of, “You’re full of crap.” That’s a paraphrase.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I said. “He just told me about you an hour ago.”
It was then that I knew that Matt had met his match, so to speak, and as the three of us met up later at our hotel’s restaurant, Erin and I began talking and sharing all sorts of stories about Matt – lines he’d used, stories he told, stupid things he’s done – all as he sat there squirming like an ant under a magnifying glass. It truly was a magical evening, and I really think that Erin and I bonded over that table at Mad Mex.
Of course, after meeting Erin, my next move was to shamelessly spread the news to everyone I could think of. I didn’t have any clue that Matt was seeing someone before hand, and neither did our parents. My mom’s expression of shock, disbelief and, to be honest, genuine relief, was impressive. My grandmothers, however, infinitely wiser than the rest of us, seemed to take the news in stride.
Grandma Jordan just smiled and said that she and Grandpa thought he was probably seeing somebody – apparently he kept talking about going to dinner at “a friend’s” house. She didn’t buy it.
Grandma Lin said simply, “Well, at least now we know he’s not gay.” Grandma, I know Matt appreciates your continued faith in him.
What I can tell you about that weekend is that I left with a feeling in my gut that Erin was going to be the one that Matt ended up with. I could tell that he really cared about her by the way he described her to me, and by the expression on his face when she was around. He couldn’t seem to suppress that stupid grin – yeah, that’s the one – the whole time she was there.
Seriously, though, Matt and Erin, we are all extremely excited and happy for you as you begin this new chapter in both of your lives. I won’t tell you that it will always be easy, and there will be some things that you will never agree on, but in the long run, it will be worth it. A wise man once said, “Marriage is not just a word. It’s a sentence.” You can interpret that any way you like.
Let’s raise our glasses to Matt and Erin. May you have a long and happy life together, and of course, may your first child be a masculine child. Cheers.

My response to the credit card companies…

ahoff — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:47:46 +0000

In the past week, we recieved notice from two of the credit card companies that we have accounts with that they were arbitrarily increasing the APR, and in one case, moving from a fixed to a variable rate structure. I have never missed a payment, and always pay more than the minimum. Below is my response to Chase, a subsidiary of JP Morgan Chase, a company who also happens to be on the list of banks who recieved a bailout:

Chase
Cardmember Service
PO Box 15098
Wilmington, DE 19850-5098

March 16, 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

It is with much distain that I write this letter to inform your company that I am officially refusing to accept the ridiculous new terms outlined in the mailing that I received on March 16^th. I find it unconscionable that a company receiving what amounts to welfare from a government bailout plan would decide to turn to its customers and bilk them out of even more money.

My wife and I have been extremely careful and responsible over the years in selecting only loans and credit card accounts with fixed rates and low enough APRs that we can live within our means and make every payment on a monthly basis. When we accepted your initial offer of a credit account, we thought we would be dealing with a company that considered responsibility and careful planning to be desirable traits in not only its customers, but also its executives. Apparently, I was mistaken. As a consumer, I do not have the right to change the terms of our agreement in the middle of our contract, and I think it is unfair and unethical for you to arbitrarily make these changes. If I wanted a credit card with a double digit APR, I would have signed up for one.

I will continue to pay my bills in full and on time, as I have every month since opening my Chase Account, and I will continue to make responsible decisions about my finances. I will not, however, continue to be a customer of Chase. Close my account immediately, and remove my name and contact information from both your mailing lists and your telemarketing database.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Citibank is going to get a similar letter…actually…they’ll probably get the same one. After all, they send me form letters all the time…

The joys of standardized testing

ahoff — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 03:40:22 +0000

PSSA week is finally here! This is the week that we forget about all other instructional activities and focus all of our energy on the high stakes tests that will determine whether our school is deemed “successful” or if we require some form of intervention in order to meet the required levels of proficiency.

I love the idea of holding students accountable for thier learning, and I love the idea that schools that aren’t meeting students’ needs should have to make changes. I guess I’m just worried that the only method we have to determine if a student is proficient is a scantron, multiple choice test. Colleges and Universities realized a while back that one test doesn’t give a complete picture of a student, so they moved away from basing admission decisions solely on SAT scores. Meanwhile, our State’s Department of Education has decided to put more and more emphasis on the test, and are even talking about a Graduation Exam, in addition to the PSSAs that are now administered in grades 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 11.

This week, I will be working with a small group of my learning support 8th graders as they struggle to see the significance of the Reading and Math tests that we’re asking them to take. The best motivator that we can use right now is to assure them that if they aren’t proficient, they’ll have to take some remedial classes in 9th grade in order to get them back on track. As we move closer and closer to the target year 2014, when every student in the country will be proficient, I wonder what it will really be like when no more students will require special education services. After all, if a student is proficient and on grade level, then they don’t need special ed, right?

GHH

ahoff — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 03:32:06 +0000

The following is a copy of what I said at my grandfather’s funeral on December 8th, 2007. My brother and I spoke at the service and shared some of our memories.

I thought it was pretty cool that as a ten year old, my grandpa hired me to work on some of his jobs. My brother and I would hang out on the site, probably getting in the way more than anything else, but we always got a pay envelope at the end of the day – off the books of course. The main thing that I took away from that experience was that coffee break happens at 10am, whether or not you drink coffee. Grandpa always took us seriously, and was a better listener than he probably got credit for (you just had to talk really loudly). I remember one time when we were playing with leggos in the basement. My brother and I were building houses, and he was critiquing our designs. He decided that we should draw our plans, and then he actually ran them through the blueprint machine because that would make them official. I was convinced that he was going to use my drawing to build his next house.

A while back I had the itch to do some kind of a building project. I was engaged, and in the process of figuring out how to furnish a house, I decided that it would be silly to pay hundreds of dollars for furniture that I could build with my own two hands. That is when I had the brilliant idea to build my own coffee table. In our family, everybody knew that before you started a project, you consulted GHH for advice. Grandpa thought this was a great idea, and since I was working just up the mountain at Lehigh, I could build it in his shop – and he would help, although he insisted that I was in charge. I had a set of plans that I ordered from the internet, and we started with a trip to see his buddy who had a saw mill to get some rough cut oak boards. He showed me how to choose lumber that matched for color, and then how to plane it and sand it to make it all even.

On our first day in the shop, I pulled out the plans and started measuring to cut the legs and start assembling them. He informed me that we’d start by making the table top, but that he didn’t really like the way that the plans laid it out, so we were going to make some corrections. I folded the plans up and set them on the workbench, realizing that this would be a little more involved than I had originally thought. Over the next couple of months, I went over to work on the table a couple of nights each week. We’d work for a little while, then Grandma would flash the light that he wired as a signal in the shop and we’d go in for a quick dinner, and then back out to work.

In between my visits he tinkered with the project, but usually it was just to fix something that we screwed up, or to straighten something out, or to patch an area where the router “slipped.” He taught me how to use a whole bunch of tools that I didn’t even know that I was going to need, and along the way, he told a lot of stories. He talked about the joining the Army and World War II, and what it was like to grow up in Hellertown. He told me about his father’s plan for him to take book keeping so he could run the coal business, and that he wanted to take Algebra instead so he could become an architect or a draftsman. He told me about taking classes at Ohio State on the GI Bill. I heard a lot of the stories multiple times.

When we were finished, we had a solid oak table that sort of looked like the picture, weighed something like 150lbs, and probably cost more in parts and labor than if I had purchased it at a furniture store. It sounds clichéd, but what I got out of that time in the shop was priceless.

Back to basics – campfire worship

ahoff — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 05:02:21 +0000

It’s been a couple of weeks since the end of Sr. High Adventure Camp at Pocono Plateau. Thirty students in the woods with six counselors, an AD and myself to chew on the way that we as Christians represent ourselves and our faith to the world. The key scripture for the week was Micah 6:8 – Do Justice, Love Mercy and Walk Humbly with your God (paraphrased).

On the last night, we focused on the part about humility. I think sometimes we create these opportunities for kids to experience giving through mission trips and projects and fundraisers, only to have the “point” distorted by the event itself. Does the mission team go to West Virginia because they want to be the “hands and feet” of Jesus, or because it’s a really cool trip that all of the really cool people in youth group go on every year, and you get a T-shirt? Not to disparage the work that is being done by youth groups all over the country — that’s not my point — I think we need to make sure that we’re cultivating the right attitude in our students when we create these opportunities for them. We should be serving our brothers and sisters not from a place of superiority, where we bend down to help someone, careful not to get too dirty, but from a place of humility, where we bend down and offer all that we have because it was given to us in the same way — see the story in John where Jesus washes the Disciples’ feet.

The other thing that I noticed about worship this year was how simple it was. In my other experiences, we’ve been working with a band, adding more instruments and vocalists, and getting louder and louder. We complain about the sound system, and the mix, and which songs we all know, and which ones are “too new” for the congregation, and on and on and on. It really makes worship complex. Camp tends to strip everything down to the core – no plugs means no problems with sound systems. Only one guitar player, and no mics, so everyone just has to sing loud. No powerpoint — no problem…just sing the chorus a couple of times until everyone catches on. I think I had more intimate worship times around the campfire with the assistance of a flashlight than I’ve had all year at church so far. With less to think about, it’s a little easier to concetrate on the Audience, and not on the song.

My new proudest moment…

ahoff — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:22:31 +0000

No, I didn’t get a promotion (yet). My team didn’t win a huge match, and I definitely didn’t get a raise. Penn State’s season didn’t start yet, so we haven’t beaten OSU or Michigan (yet). Yes, my greatest joy and most reveled accomplishment is in knowing that my 2 year, 5 month and 18 day old son can now pee on the potty by himself!!!

That’s right — he has not worn a diaper for two weeks! In fact, he now makes us wait outside while he takes care of business on his own. I’m so proud.

~ARH

Palm Sunday Worship

ahoff — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 02:07:42 +0000

The message for this week focuses on triumph through defeat – specifically the crucifixion story in the gospel of Luke. This is going to be a tough set list to come up with — I’m pretty much on my own, and I still don’t know which songs they “know” and which songs are brand new to them…both are far different lists than mine.

“Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ When he had said this, he breathed his last.”
(Luke 23:46)

in the wrong line of work

ahoff — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 02:42:04 +0000

had to get my wife’s van inspected today, and it “needed” new brakes in order to pass. there are a few things that interest me in this scenario: 1) when we bought the van in November it seemed like the brakes were working fine. 2) as we drove the van from November until now, it seemed like the brakes were working fine. 3) it seems like whenever i take a vehicle to a dealership, it ends up costing me more money than i anticipated. as i looked over the invoice, it struck me that the parts weren’t all that expensive – relatively speaking. a certified mechanic, however, is worth $75/hour!!!!

let’s talk about career choices. i spent a combined 6 1/2 years in college getting an undergraduate degree and a master’s degree in education. i’ve spent around 5 years (give or take) teaching in public schools, and when I work outside of my contract by the hour, i currently make $30.50/hour.

i’ll be honest – i can change the oil in my truck (most of the time – see my post on the oil company conspiracy), but anything more advanced and i’m looking for the nearest grease monkey to take over. i have a lot of respect for a guy who can tear an engine apart and put it back together, but holy crap, is he worth 2 1/2 times more than me? i’m in the wrong line of work.

the prodigal father

ahoff — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 03:09:33 +0000

had some interesting thoughts in church this morning. the message was on the story of the prodigal son — only the pastor redirected our attention to the real main character – the father. he is the one who demonstrates the ideals of forgiveness and unconditional love that Christ represented, and that God has for us. the whole thing made me think about some of the baggage that our worship team has been dragging around.

i’m a newcomer, so much of this stuff is before my time — maybe i don’t know the whole story. it just seems that when we spend time focusing on how this person is in an ongoing argument with this other person, and how this person disagrees with how this person is leading, then we’re taking the focus off of the purpose of our worship. believe me — i’m guilty of losing focus, but i’m usually just griping about how well we played a song, or how the sound guys mixed us, or how i would have lead a song differently than the other praise leader.

i do think it is important that we are mindful of the feelings of the other team members that we work with, but when there are so many land mines laying around, the tip-toeing gets old fast.

the ongoing conspiracy of the oil companies…

ahoff — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 13:08:00 +0000

it is becoming more apparent that the conspiracy between the oil tycoons and the major automotive manufacturers is even deeper than once thought. it’s well documented that the american (and probably foreign as well) car makers are sitting on bio technology that would essentially end our dependence on foreign oil (see cars - the disney movie, for more info).

after the session of home automotive repair that i experienced yesterday, it seems that independent auto mechanics are involved as well! ONE TIME – i go to a garage to get my oil changed and they clamp the filter on so freaking tight that i can’t get it off the next time i go to change it myself! do you see the scheme? they are like drug dealers…you can’t get your next fix unless you come back to the source…